When I first released Perfect Timing: I Told You I Would Figure It Out! my name on the front cover kept getting chopped off. A significant portion of the books that I ordered had my name correctly placed while the other copies had a portion of my name cut off due to improver dimensions with my cover art file. When you upload your cover into the editing software for the manufacture they recommend specific dimensions. While looking at the proofs online it appeared like all of my words were clear from the cutoff point. It wasn't until I order my proofs that I noticed my name was less than a centimeter too low so when it was time for the printing machine to cut my books, the success rate was hit or miss. The problem was that my first proof had everything done correctly. Then when I ordered 20 more copies, around 30-40% of the books had the bottom of my name cut off. This prevented me from selling as many physical copies of Perfect Timing as I wanted to. Once I noticed the inconsistencies I put a complete halt to it's production. To me, the book looked unprofessional with the name of the author so low on the book. Whenever I release a new project I give away 10-20 copies to close friends, family, and strangers to get feedback before making a real push. I do this specifically to see how the consumer feels about the book. I want to know how people like the cover, how the book feels in their hands and how they browse through the pages. I have been trying to fix the cover of this book since 2020 which happened to be at the height of the pandemic so the communication between me and the manufacture was inconsistent. Each time that I tried to upload the corrected version of my cover, my screen would be stuck and wouldn't move on to the final step. Today I was finally able to get ahold of a representative in the company that was able to reset my page. I sent an email explaining my situation and frustration and used words that I knew would not only catch their attention but force a solution. After sending this message I received help within 48 hours and the problem was solved. Just like the title of my book, this fix is happening at the Now that I have finally updated my book cover, I can start selling physical copies to the sequel of BWPE: A Conversation With Yourself. I can finally push forward confidently without hesitation or reservations about what people will think. Everything eventually falls into place if you stay patient and let God handle the rest...
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Today was my mom's cardiologist appointment. As usual she was very antsy in the doctor's office. She gets anxious whenever we are in a hospital or doctor setting. Luckily, her new cardiologist was very patient and knew how to handle Alzheimers. Every 15 seconds or so, my mom would try to walk out of the office or would be playing with items on the desk. She was literally behaving like a toddler who couldn't sit still. Once her appointment was over and we made it back in the car, she was very calm. She was quiet for most of the car ride back and engaged in conversation once I asked how she was doing. Then she was back to herself rambling about any and everything jumbled all into one story. I guess the saying is true, once a woman, twice a child because my mom is definitely a kid again. She told the doctor today that I was her brother lol. She says that every now and then at doctor's appointments or at the ALF. I just laugh and remind her that I am her son and she laughs back and usually says "oh yea", "that's my son". It's funny because I am her son but now we have a mother/son, sister/brother, dad/daughter relationship. I have to speak to her firmly like a father would when she isn't paying attention or when I see her approaching harm. We joke around like siblings and I hold her hand to comfort her like a son. Every time I see my mom I hug her and hold her hand to keep that connection strong. Even though her mind is deteriorating, I still want to build on her muscle memory. It has gotten to the point where I just have to hold my hand out in a "high five" motion and she will match her hands with mine. I know at some point in the future, this will be one of our only ways of communicating... The entrepreneur lifestyle is not for everyone. This is a common theme or process in having your own businesses. Finances are a roller coaster for entrepreneurs. One day you can be up, the next you can be down. This is all apart of the game in the beginning. 4 years ago, when I was 26 years old, I stopped playing sports because I didn't have health insurance anymore. I feared getting hurt and being hit with an enormous medical bill that I couldn't afford. After you turn 26 years old you age out of your parent's health insurance policies. At this time I could not afford health insurance as I was still getting on my feet financially, building my businesses, as well as taking care of my mom and all of our personal problems. During this time, my uncle recently committed suicide, my mom's memory and mental health were declining, my grandma's Alzheimers was getting worse and the weight of the world seemed to be on my shoulders to figure things out. 2 years later I finally got health insurance again and slowly got back into playing sports. I would gradually play games of basketball or football insuring that I didn't overdo anything to limit potential injuries. Another fear of me getting injured was not only the time I would have to spend healing the injury but the time that would be taken away from me working. If I don't work, I don't make money. I am not at the position in my life where I am making comfortable residual income off of my creations yet. Every year for the last 8 years my old work continues to sell but it is not at the point where it's high enough to comfort me during injuries. Injuries not only cost money in the doctor's office, they also cost money when you can't make the money while being injured. I am a very active person and most of my money comes directly from me being physically active. When I injured my ankle and was told that I had to be non weight bearing for 6 weeks, I knew my finances would plummet. Injuries don't stop the bills from happening. Injuries do not end the phone calls from bill collectors. There are only so many days you can extend a payment. I wasn't too worried because behind the scenes I applied for substantial cushion to help me bounce back and recover. However I knew that the struggle was on its way. I mentally prepared to embrace what was coming. This year has been very difficult for me. Before my car caught on fire earlier in the year, I would be fixing a failing part every other week. Every other week I had to spend money fixing a car that I paid off early. I didn't have monthly payments on the car but every time I spent money to fix a part, another one would break the following week, literally. When I was stuck waiting for my Sonata to be fixed in Orlando I had to wait 12 days. This was 12 days of not being able to fully make the money that I was used to making. When I bought my Tacoma, I had to wait 18 days for it to arrive. During that time I was still using my Sonata to try to catch up to the money that I missed out on during the fire repairs. I was hesitant driving the Sonata because fire damage is always risky even after repairs. When I finally got the Tacoma, I was grinding to catch up and get ahead on bills that were behind. On top of this, I put my mom in an Assisted Living Facility which meant that any little cushion that my mom's SSI money would leave over after bills was no longer there for emergencies. The ALF takes 62% of her monthly money while the mortgage takes the remaining 38%. All of my emergency safety nets were wiped. Every time I would build a cushion, something would happen where I needed to tap into those funds. Survival supersedes a savings account. The saving's account is built for survival moments and to survive, all of my accounts have been maxed. The only account I don't touch is my IRA. That is the longevity account for my future retirement and kids. My biggest lesson from witnessing my parent's experiences is to not just save most of my money but to invest a portion of it aggressively. I invest aggressively into myself and businesses because I have control over my actions and effort. My longterm goal is to be able to survive off of less than 20% of my earnings while saving and investing the other 80%. The 20% that I do survive off of will include the cost to take care of my future family. Both of my parent's had a traditional savings account and 401k account and they both ended up at zero and negative despite all the typical talk about saving money or the discipline behind saving money. Both of my parents played life way too safe and both ended up with the short end of the stick. You do not gain wealth or financial freedom with a cookie cutter playing it safe mentality. Money that is saved and just sitting in a savings account will disappear quickly. You have to own multiple assets and put your money in accounts that have a chance to grow. Cash alone is not the way especially when your income isn't substantial enough. The stock market is currently down due to crazy inflation but long term, being patient and having money in the market is a good way to grow your dormant funds. With that said, I would never put my last money in the stock market, I will always bet my last and all on me. As an entrepreneur, I've been down this road before. My account has been in the negative before, I've seen 0 multiple times in my past. I know these numbers will bounce back stronger than before. One of the perks of being self made and having products that I own is that I can make money off it for the rest of my life. As long as I am alive, I will be able to have leverage and survive off my creations. For the past 30+ days I have been continuing to map out my future. I have been getting all of my mental work done so that when I can walk again, I will be able to attack at levels I've never been able to reach. When your accounts go negative, use it as a time to really dig deep and focus. These are moments that will help fuel you to catapult to the next frequency in life. This is similar to a sling shot or pulling a rubber band back. After fighting the resistance backwards, you will explode forward the moment you let go. As I channel my mom's resilience and continue to honor my ancestors, I know my time is coming to turn everything around. I open up in my darkest moments as an example that when you never stop pushing forward, anything is possible. I don't ask for handouts or help because I know the best is yet to come. Even when I am not physically working or bringing in money, I am working relentlessly behind the scenes to make sure things always bounce back. This is all apart of the process. The next step is prosperity. The time is coming... The African American community will always be at odds because of the drastic disconnect between the older and younger generations. Slavery plays a big part in this discussion but the lack of accountability and open vulnerability from the older generations is the biggest issue. A lot of times you will hear the older generations speak on what they would do or would have done if they were in the current shoes of the youth. I call complete bullshit to all of that because if they had that type of influence or awareness then the younger generations would not be as lost as they are now. A lot of the males from the older generations were blindly selfish when they were our age. They were ignorant and naive to how their actions in the moment would affect their offspring 20-30 years down the line. Their behavior in their young adult days was passed down genetically. Then when they see themselves in the mirror they backpedal with their words but the actions have already been done.
The younger generations feel alone. They feel misunderstood. They act out, not because they want to intentionally be bad people but because they don't see another way. A lot of them are crying out for attention. They are crying out for love and affection. A lot of the male youth who don't have an active father in their life are forced to be the "man" too early. This takes away from their natural emotions and forces them to become numb to life. When you are numb to your own life, you become numb to other people's life. You are then more susceptible to lie, rob, kill, cheat, deceive etc with no remorse because you feel cheated at a young age. You feel you have nothing to lose. You feel you were dealt an unfair hand from the start. Granted the government has played a role in this as well. From slavery to the crack era, which destroyed the strong black household and family structure. The child support system has done its long term damage as well. But no matter what has been thrown into our community from outside forces, self accountability is key. And collectively, it can be argued that the older generations failed us. Lord... not this again. Not this again... I turn around and the account is back negative. I keep sinking like I am walking in quicksand. Lord, please grab my hand... Stuck in my bed like I'm on house arrest but I'm innocent. Lord, you took my legs, I can't escape, this is my fate. I'm trying to understand, paranoia is kicking in. My cousin and main man were beefing with each other, I don't understand. One a kin to me the other a real friend. Send some healing, make amends... 9 days left and my mind is playing tricks on me. These sober thoughts keep me guessing, they always get to me. My grandpa's, I didn't know them. I don't remember them, they both died young. The pain of their generation falls on your son. Lord I look up to you, the chosen one... I just want to breakthrough to higher levels. Give me one more chance, I promise I can do better. Unc, I feel your pain, I would be right next to you if I had a gun. Auntie, you did a great job, I will always be there for your son. Grandma, you did all you could the weight more than a ton. Nanny, I can taste your cooking that you left behind from above. Mommy, I do it all for you, the time will come. Every day all day I pray, the time will come. I promise the time will come! Amen... I created a mini series called God is Real 5 years ago. It all came about randomly when I made it home from work after finishing up on a show I created called When Dreams Become A Reality. At that time my mom was showing signs of something being wrong with her but I couldn't pinpoint it. My business Family Dreams Fitness was gaining momentum but behind closed doors my life was a roller coaster. I would spend a lot of time in my car to decompress from the chaos that happened inside the house. In fact I used to sleep in my car parked in front of the house when me and my mom wouldn't see eye to eye. I was making money with FDF however it wasn't up to the "standards" of my mom. She would tell me to get a "real" job all the time. She didn't understand what I was doing or planning for the future. While decompressing in my car I got the sudden urge/energy to record and speak. Nothing was written down or preplanned, I just hit record and started talking. I didn't promote this project too heavy at the time because I was doing so much at once. I just knew then that I wanted to put this footage out to the world and when the time was right I could always go back to reference it. I didn't know that the time would be now. 5 years later and the message and passion is the same. 5 years later and my mom is diagnosed with Alzheimer's and living in an Assisted Living Facility. 5 years have passed and I went back to this project, once again with the influence of a higher power. Life is full of ironies. Stay focused on your vision and always believe in yourself because God is Real!
Straddling the fence of broken dreams, workaholic steadily moving, blowing off steam. Addiction passed through the veins, a sophisticated feen. I do everything I can to help you process what I mean. Flourishing intellectually, trapped in positions I feared I would never be. I walk this Earth, the clouds underneath my feet. When I get anxious it’s difficult for me to breathe. Heartbeat racing, I slow down in order to take the lead. All the agony is no longer inside of me. It’s time for healing, it’s healing season, acknowledgment is key. Loss after loss, it all comes with the process. Walked down the path of resilience so I can talk it. Body after body after body in the coffin. If I could I would, life happens, you can’t stop it. First you think, then when you speak you become a prophet. All the negative thoughts are leaking out the conscious like a faucet… |