Once A Woman, Twice A Child

Today was my mom's cardiologist appointment. As usual she was very antsy in the doctor's office. She gets anxious whenever we are in a hospital or doctor setting. Luckily, her new cardiologist was very patient and knew how to handle Alzheimers. Every 15 seconds or so, my mom would try to walk out of the office or would be playing with items on the desk. She was literally behaving like a toddler who couldn't sit still.

Once her appointment was over and we made it back in the car, she was very calm. She was quiet for most of the car ride back and engaged in conversation once I asked how she was doing. Then she was back to herself rambling about any and everything jumbled all into one story. 

I guess the saying is true, once a woman, twice a child because my mom is definitely a kid again. She told the doctor today that I was her brother lol. She says that every now and then at doctor's appointments or at the ALF. I just laugh and remind her that I am her son and she laughs back and usually says "oh yea", "that's my son".

It's funny because I am her son but now we have a mother/son, sister/brother, dad/daughter relationship. I have to speak to her firmly like a father would when she isn't paying attention or when I see her approaching harm. We joke around like siblings and I hold her hand to comfort her like a son. 

Every time I see my mom I hug her and hold her hand to keep that connection strong. Even though her mind is deteriorating, I still want to build on her muscle memory. It has gotten to the point where I just have to hold my hand out in a "high five" motion and she will match her hands with mine.

​I know at some point in the future, this will be one of our only ways of communicating...

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